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Longer than a whores dream [Comment by: Clay ]
I'm Texan. I haven't heard that second
half, but I do know that we do say
"Bigger than all hell" [Comment by: Syllvie ]
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Busy
Posted by: JoeRating:0.3
Busier than a cat trying to cover up crap on a marble floor.
"You are the busy"
never heard it [Comment by: what? ]
Never heard it either. [Comment by: Brandi Rated:1/5 ]
I've heard it as busier than a 3-legged
cat trying to cover poop on a frozen
pond [Comment by: sallymae ]
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Cold
Posted by: JoeRating:0.5
Cold as an ex-wife's heart.
This is hog killing weather.
Cold as a witch's tit.
can also mean that your as raw, cool
motherf*cker.
as lil wyane says. [Comment by: jmat* ]
well butter my ears with jelly and lay
me on an ant hill [Comment by: Jon ]
Yall are crazy, that aint Texas slag;
thats just dumb!!!!! [Comment by: Jesse "TexasLove" Lucian Rated:1/5 ]
nobody f*ckin tlks lk that in the texas
that im from..stupid ass shit..no one
knows wassup wit that southern swagg.. [Comment by: SOuthTexas Mami Rated:1/5 ]
No! believe it or not the great state of
Texas is southern! Im sick of people
like you tring to take the true cowboy
image of this state and turn it into
something it aint, just because you may
be one of the unlucky few that got stuck
in one of our citys dont give you the
right to talk about it that way. all the
rest of texas is full of REAL men,
hardworking honest men who still respect
women and thier elders! so you better
watch your mouth, cause us TRUE TEXANS
dont take kindly to that type of talk! [Comment by: TRUE TEXAN ]
" Colder than a Whore' Heart" [Comment by: WT Slim ]
Ya'll are stupid, no one I know says
that, and I'm in the middle of Texas.
Only thing I say is, is its f*cking cold
outside. [Comment by: Lauri ]
Colder than a Mother-In-Law's kiss. [Comment by: RJ ]
I was born & raised in the Texas
Panhandle, and none of these sayings are
new to me. I have heard every one of
them come out of someone's mouth. When
it is cold & blowing up here we say "Who
left the North Gate open" or "Somebody
left the North Gate open". If you
disagree or haven't heard these, there
is no reason to get a bee in your bonnet
and act like a pendejo. If you truly
live in Texas, you are all hat and no
cattle. You better find your manners
and watch your language or someone will
find them for ya. [Comment by: Texas Panhadle Mom ]
How about "Colder than a well diggers
ass"! [Comment by: Little Bitty Crazy Woman Rated:5/5 ]
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Crazy
Posted by: JoeRating:1.7
He's got a big hole in his screen door.
She's two sandwiches short of a picnic.
Lights are on, but no one's home.
"The Engines runnin',but there ain't
anybody driven'" [Comment by: WT Slim ]
He's a few chickens less short of a coup [Comment by: Lauri ]
He's "throwed off". In other words, got
thowed off the wagon a few too many
times! [Comment by: Little Bitty Crazy Woman Rated:5/5 ]
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Dumb
Posted by: Joe
If dumb was dirt, he'd cover about an acre.
He's so dumb that if you moved his plate five inches to the left he'd starve to death.
He's so dumb he couldn't poor piss out of his boot if you wrote the instructions on the heel.
That's funny... its "pour". [Comment by: Texas Born ]
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Fat
Posted by: Joe
She's warm in winter, shady in summer.
He was so fat it was easier to go over top of him than around him.
If she were an inch taller she'd be round.
horizontaly retarded [Comment by: krystallynne ]
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How about: "Happy as a tick on a stray
dog!" [Comment by: Little Bitty Crazy Woman Rated:5/5 ]
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Hot
Posted by: JoeRating:1.0
It's so hot the hens are layin' hard-boiled eggs.
Hot as a two-dollar whore on the 4th of July.
It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch.
It's hotter than a stolen tamale.
hotter than a nuns cunt on sunday [Comment by: leroy ]
hotter than two rats screwin in a whool
sock [Comment by: leroy ]
hotter than a four balled billy goat [Comment by: leroy ]
It's so hot,the chickens have to use
potholders to pull the worms out of the
ground. [Comment by: Kevin ]
Hotter than a two dollar pistol at an
all night shoot out. [Comment by: Clay ]
Hotter than two rats f*cking in a wool
sock. [Comment by: Mikey ]
Hotter than a fresh f*cked fox in a
forest fire [Comment by: hut ]
It's hotter than a four-balled tom cat
f*cking in a pepper patch. [Comment by: Zach Carver Rated:5/5 ]
"Hotter than hell's door hinges" [Comment by: Little Bitty Crazy Woman Rated:5/5 ]
Hotter than a half-chewed jalapeno! [Comment by: Mark Link Warde ]
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he wouldn't cry sooey if the hogs were
gonna eat him [Comment by: JP ]
Hes bout as worthless as tits on a boar
hog [Comment by: Clay ]
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Poor
Posted by: Joe
I'm so broke, I can't pay attention.
I ate so many armadillos when I was young I still role up into a ball when I hear a dog bark.
It's roll... [Comment by: Darlene ]
As nervous as a porcupine in a balloon
factory.
As nervous as a cat in a room full of
rocking chairs. [Comment by: RJ ]
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Eatin' high on the hog [Comment by: Rob ]
he's on the high horse [Comment by: caity Rated:3/5 ]
Don't get your panties in a wad. [Comment by: RJ ]
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Sweatin' like a turkey the day before Thanksgiving
Nervous, uneasy, feeling of impending doom
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